So, I finally had the nerve to somewhat say how I felt and, as I predicted, you somehow managed to turn this all around on me. I should have brought up your texts and how you basically begged me for a relationship only to have you turn on me once I gave you the thing that you wanted. The problem now is that you are in my heart and in my mind. I want you more than I thought possible and I can't have you. So...will I debase myself more just to have you hold me so that I can feel safe? Throw my heart at your feet just to have you walk all over it? Shed my pride just to feel you inside of me?
I asked God for a god-fearing man, someone who would bring out a better me, someone who could push me along further in my faith and make me want to be a better woman. I asked for someone who would not only be my man but someone who would comfort and hold me, let me be me, make me his wife and be my protector. I thought that you were him. I WANTED you to be him. I needed you to be him. Instead, you are the person that confuses me, makes me want more but won't give it to me, the person that doesn't want what I have to offer and the one that makes me cry.
I have loved you for over a decade and you have acknowledged that. I can admit that I love you and that you make me weak. There is nothing that I can do about it until someone comes along to take your place. I just hope that he comes along before you finally shred the little bit left of my heart.
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