I don't understand

I don't think I'm complicated. Well, I'm a little complicated and I know that I am true to my sign (Taurus) very stubborn but I'm not understanding why this isn't working the way it should. You are the one that started off talking about marriage, kids, buying a house, etc. It wasn't me. I was doing what I always do...avoiding the situation and not thinking about it. But then you caught me at a low point, when I wanted something more than what I had, and then I started to want it to. And now you don't want it, again, and I do, again. And I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I want it with you and I don't understand why you are going in the opposite direction. Is it because I can't have kids? Is it because I'm bigger than I used to be? Is it because you figured out that you are my weakness? That I have loved you for over 10 years and you didn't love me in return? What is it? Because I need to make my heart not yearn for you anymore. I need to know how to stop hurting over you and I need to do it soon because I can't take it.