Heartbreak

For so long I thought that the only thing I wanted was to be married. It was my end all be all. I thought I had the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, and me for his. I knew that we didn't see eye to eye, that we were from two different worlds but if you love someone enough that should be enough, right?

Today I had the eye opener of a lifetime...he doesn't really want to get married. Well, in his words it's not that he doesn't want to get married, he just doesn't want to do anything that I really want. He's perfectly fine going to the Justice of Peace and going on a honeymoon. No wedding for me, no reception for me, no nothing. And it's just not acceptable. I've waited 17 years for this day to come and I should not have to be denied just because it's something he doesn't want. While I'm not doing this just to show my mom that she can finally relax, but it's always been a huge dream of mine to have a huge wedding and reception. All my family, from every side, and party all night long. But it's not to be...and I'm pissed because I deserve better. And I'm going to either get it or this is fucking over.