Goodbye 2008

My first look at 2008 was one of disappointment. Actually, the eve of the New Year was the disappointment I should say, which continued into the opening moments of 2008. I told myself that I wouldn't allow it to happen again. And yet, somehow, I believe it's about to be a repeat.

This year was a year of very many firsts. I applied for a new position outside of my department, and got it. I went on my first cruise, which was to the Caribbean. And although I was sick the whole entire time I enjoyed it. I came to terms with losing people who I used to be close to. I worked a full year at my part-time job while holding down a full-time job as well.

I've stopped relaxing my hair, only cuz of Sunshyne, I've stopped smoking as well as started back again. I've also gained weight and lost some of it. I finally started reading and writing again, and have started being interested in my music again. I gave up on school until I figure out what the heck is going on with my immune system and started trying to watch what I eat.

I've watched my son go from the darling kid that I gave birth to to a full fledged asshole of a teenager. I've taken his keys away from him, locked him out of the house, gave up on him and tried to show him that I love him. I do believe that this year is going to be the worse with him because he is too full of himself and he is really getting on my nerves.

I also let go of a long term relationship and moved out on my own for the first time in over 10 years. I've learned that I can't make him be who or what I want him to be. So this New Year's will see me in my first apartment with my sis by my side.

For the upcoming year I intend on working on me and only me. I want to actually stop smoking again. I want to start some sort of exercise routine. I need to stop eating all this damn junk food. I also want to learn how to cook something other than spaghetti, pork chops and sloppy joe's.

I want to read up on computers and learn all about them since I seem to like them alot. I'm going to continue to work on my writing and stop being so impatient when what I want to say doesn't come out the way I mean it. I intend to start writing poetry that is about something other than unrequitted love.

I am going to open myself up to new possibilites and stop being so damn scared of everything. I am going to let go of my past and look towards a future that might bring me what I truly want. I promise to try not to get angry when I have to clean the house cuz it's my mess and I have to deal with it. Although, I will not learn to love washing dishes. If my electric bill goes up because I use the dishwasher oh well!

I would say that I am going to try to right my wrongs but that's not going to happen so I am going to just let it go. I also could say that I would really think about how I feel about religion but I recognize the fact that I just don't know what I want so I'm going to let the chips fall where they do.

But most of all, I am going to work on loving me. It's about time that I finally do that.

Wishing you all a wonderful 2009.